Access Calm
How to Reduce Reacting and Rebuild Your Relationship
When conflict takes over, couples stop hearing each other.
Access Calm is a structured course designed for couples experiencing conflict--built to help you strengthen your relationship and break through the communication barriers that keep you stuck.
The core program is a 6-session course. If you want a more focused approach,
the same work can be done as an intensive series of private sessions over
7–14 days, tailored around your schedule and what you most need to work on.
HOW I CAN HELP
Here is what we cover together:
1. Identifying Triggers and "Yellow Flags." We build awareness around what sets each of you off — and the warning signs that tell you you're heating up. Yellow flags can be physical (tightening chest, clenched hands, shortness of breath), emotional (anger, hopelessness), or cognitive (contemptuous thoughts, the urge to verbally control). Recognizing them is what lets you take a break before things escalate.
2. Requesting breaks in a disagreement. Learning how to call for a pause —and how to honor your partner's request for one — so disagreements don't spiral.
3. Communication skills. Developing the ability to speak in terms of facts,
thoughts, feelings, and wants and needs — so your partner can actually hear you.
4. Protest behavior. Identifying the reactive patterns that show up in
conflict and developing alternatives that work better.
5. Impatience and reactivity. Exploring what's behind impatience and
learning to de-escalate reactivity around each other's pace and rhythm.
6. Judgments and the need to be "right." Unpacking the thoughts and
feelings tied to judgments — respect and disrespect, worthiness, trust — and finding more effective paths through disagreement than winning the argument.
7. Priorities. Learning to tell a true priority disagreement from
everything else, so you can transform how you communicate and both get more of what you want from the relationship.
Weekly Course or Intensive — Your Choice
New classes come together based on interest and availability. Let us know what you prefer — the weekly course or a customized intensive series in a shorter time span — along with your weekly availability, and we'll work with you to tailor the sessions. Customized intensives for couples are available — just ask.
